memories...

It's been a really long time, neither blogging nor keeping diaries, for sometimes I just don't want to keep even just a single trace of the past

Too many things happened, such as

• how I decided to apply and get my current position in ITS;
• how I realized of my own feelings;
• how I hurt by rumors;
• the sadness and sorrow I felt when I was alone without my friends being here with me, for they are still busy with their industrial trainings;
• how I get into relationship, which only lasted for 1 month, including the 2 weeks time of negotiation etc, just because I couldn't ignore the fact that no matter what and how I tried, my heart is still somewhere far away, wondering and waiting for miracles, where the Goddess will never smiles on me at all.

......



Recently, I couldn't stop but keep comparing myself with someone, it is sad and it hurts to actually announce that, I would never be able to surpass her nor even just barely reach her, regardless what I do... time to say goodbye I guess... saraba, koko de wakaremashou, ne?

<31-08-2005>
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There’s a girl,
Dancing under limelight,
Eternally,
Everyone loves her,
For her beauty,
For her smiles,
For whatever she is,
Comparing to her,
I’m nothing but low life,
Abandoned by the moon,
Vanished from memories,
Someone who only worth exist in darkness,
With the cold, cold mask of mine,
Searching for even,
Just a dimmed ray of light,
Without anyone,
By my side

......

Weirdo ain't I? Writing something stupid and dark on such a so-called "celebration", M'sia National Day it is, I felt nothing, but blue and gloom...

= TO BE CONTINUED =